Review: My Wedding Dress

A Poignant Collection of Reflections on the Wedding Gown

Dec 28, 2008 Carrie Prefontaine

A collection of beautifully written reflections, this book is a must-read for all brides, whether they are preparing for the big day or celebrating their anniversaries.

Of the significant experiences of a woman’s life, perhaps the most iconic is the moment she emerges from a dressing room, spies herself in a 360 degree mirror, and realizes that she has indeed found “the” perfect wedding dress. To explore the personal and cultural significance of the bridal dress, Susan Whelelan and Anne Laurel Carter have compiled a collection of memoirs entitled, “My Wedding Dress: True-life Tales of Lace, Laughter, Tears, and Tulle.”

The Search for a Dress as a Symbol of Marriage

Each of the stories in the volume is a personal narrative in which the authors reflect upon the private significance of their wedding dress, whether it was a pouffy, lace, taffeta and tulle confection or an ancestral sari handed down from her grandmother. Some of the stories recount the “a-ha” moment where the bride finds her dream dress. However, the strongest stories are those that describe a more complex, emotion-filled search. As Stevie Cameron suggests in her preface to the book, these are the stories that also hint at the nascent, intricately-developing marriages of which the dresses are symbols.

The Dress as a Symbol of Hope

Because they reveal so much about a woman’s intimate relationships, many of the stories will resonate with the reader in search of her own wedding dress. Many of the stories hint at happily-ever-after endings, where the happily married woman reflects back over many years of marriage to see herself as a young bride full of hope, anxiety, excitement, and sometimes frustration as she steps across the threshold into marriage. As Amy Cameron suggests in her afterward, a bride’s wedding dress is “a symbol of commitment, innocence, and tradition. It’s just a dress, but it’s also a symbol of the hope we put into our decision to marry.”

Women's Relationships and the Search for a Wedding Gown

The stories don’t focus only on the relationship between the marrying couple. They also tell of the bonds between mother and daughter, and of how that relationship assumes a central role in the process of choosing the perfect nuptial attire. Sometimes, the authors tell of a grandmother, sister, or close friend who plays the maternal part, emphasizing the importance of the ties between women in the marital ritual.

One of the most compelling characteristics of the volume as a whole, however, is that it explores the complexities of those personal relationships as they are framed by the search for the dress. A number of the authors take the opportunity to describe their first weddings and provide reflections of celebrations of long-since failed marriages. Some of the women describe complicated and painful mother-daughter relationships, and some of them recall the pain of a lost or absent parent. The wedding dress takes on significance as a way of cementing bonds, of honouring one’s ancestors, of moving forward, or of offering hope and promise for another generation.

The Dress as a Significant Cultural Symbol

Taken as a whole, the stories also reveal a great deal about the cultural significance of the wedding dress. The book is organized by theme into four sections: Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, and Something Blue…or Peach…or Striped…or Floral. Each section functions as a meditation on wedding traditions and the societal rules that are evoked by a wedding dress. Within each section, the individual stories provide vignettes exploring how each bride welcomed, resisted, or rewrote those traditions. Under the skillful pens of the contributors to this volume, the wedding dress becomes a site to explore women’s interactions with their social worlds.

An Excellent Read for All Brides

This exquisite collection is not simply a celebration of the couture: these authors show the reader that the wedding dress is emblematic of the chief concerns that women face, not only as they plan their weddings, but also in their daily relationships with their intimates and with themselves. Any reader looking for some time to reflect upon her own relationships and wedding planning will enjoy this book.

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The wedding dress helps women bond